Gratitude Challenge #21

Today, I am thankful that I grew into a strong, independent woman.


You see, it was 24 years ago today that I married the man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I was the dutiful Southern wife, falling into a pattern that I thought was normal. Did what he wanted. Cooked and cleaned for him. Admired him and supported him in whatever he wanted to do. Then, two years later, my world came crashing down around me when he announced that he didn't want to be married to me any more, that he didn't love me and he was moving out. Needless to say, I was completely devastated.

For the next year, we fought about every single thing, including who would take care of the 2 dogs, the cat and the tank full of fish. In September of 1988, we signed the final divorce papers, and that was the end of that. For the next 8 months, I went through the days feeling sorry for myself and noticing that a lot of people I knew were taking "pity" on me as "J's ex-wife." It was more than I could take.

In May of 1989, I took my first trip to California to visit my friend Becky and her husband. They were living in a suburb of San Francisco and had invited me out because she thought I could use a break after all the turmoil of the past year. Well, I got here, fell in love with SF and the Bay Area, went on several job interviews and accepted a job with a law firm as a floater secretary. It was the first time I felt empowered as myself, not as someone's ex-wife.

I started that job on June 11, 1989. I've now been living on my own for nearly 20 years and have never looked back. I've had to do things like buy a car by myself, negotiate leases and move to new living spaces on my own; I even had to put down my first furbaby, Spike, all by myself.

Today, I think of the happiness I had in the time I knew him and how happy I was the day I walked down the aisle to become his wife. But it also makes me think of the favor he did me when he left and how it forced me to grow to be the strong, independent woman I am today.
Take that, jerk face.


Until next time,

Kel