If my knee didn't still hurt, I'd definitely jump up on a soapbox and just start shouting. Then again, if I did jump up on a soapbox, said soapbox would be squished. (insert appropriate sly grin here)
Okay, enough small talk. On to the giant rant of the week.
I've admitted this in several posts, and have admitted it out loud for several years now: I'm a big girl. I'm a fattie. I've got thunder thighs and a big ass. But you know what? I'm okay with it -- for the most part. It's my body and my life and just because you have a problem with it, why should I be the victim of your ridicule and judgment?
I saw Jeff Somebody-or-other yesterday at the ortho's office. After being rushed into the exam room because they like to keep on schedule (I was there at 1:15 for my 1:30 appointment - the receptionist didn't show up until 1:25!), Mr. "I think I'm so wonderful" walked in the room and before he even said a word, gave me the stink eye and a sneer that would have sent silver spikes through a vampire's heart. We exchanged the required pleasantries and I explained the fall and subsequent trip over the bag and how after a week, my knee was still incredibly painful and that's why I'm here to see you. With a continued look of disdain on his face, he promptly stated that 'this office doesn't do workman's comp claims.' Okay, I never said it was workman's comp - I tripped out of clumsiness and it could have happened to me anywhere. My employer has nothing to do with this.
Well, he did agree to take a quick look at my knee and asked me if I could lift my pants legs up above both knees so that he could see what they looked like. Well, because I had on my favorite stretchy pants, that wasn't a problem, until I saw the disgusted look on his face. I mean, come on, my knees are fat - but they don't look like trolls! He made me walk around the exam room, then get up on the table so he could squeeze, twist, bend and push on my knees. Then the "fun" started.
He did explain (after re-stating that they don't do workman's comp) that he didn't think that there was anything major wrong with my knee, but without an x-ray and/or an mri, he couldn't be certain if there was any tearing or something broken in there. Okay, fine by me - let's get started. Oh, no, you see, we don't do workman's comp and even if we did find some damage in there, we wouldn't know if it's new damage from this fall or old damage.
Old damage? Old damage? From what? I'm not a football player or other professional athlete who got pummeled over the years and I've never had knee problems in my life.
"Well, because of your weight..."
Oh, here we go. If I could have, I would have jumped off that damn table and used my kickboxing skills to smack him with a good roundhouse kick to the cajones. Sonofabitch is all I could think of as I half listened to his speech about how if I'd only lose 5-10 pounds it would ease the pain in my knee.
It was all he could do so see me out the door after his little self-righteous sermon. This whole episode took less than 20 minutes. Oh, and he was so nice - he told the receptionist to not charge me or my insurance for the visit since he really couldn't help me.
Couldn't or DIDN'T WANT to help me? I think it was more that he didn't want to.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know that my weight has caused issues with my health and my life in general. I'm the first one to admit it and the first one to stand up and take responsibility for it. I don't blame anyone or anything for the shape I'm in, and those of you who know me, know that I'm not your stereotypical large person. I don't sit around eating fast food for every meal and stuffing myself with cakes, cookies and junk food while laying on the couch watching reruns of Jerry Springer all day long. I maintain a relatively healthy eating style (yeah, I'm human and enjoy some not-so-good-for-you stuff, too), stay active and keep on top of my health issues so that I can be as 'healthy' as possible.
But just who the hell did this guy think he was judging me by just looking at me and assuming that the pain in my knee was because of my weight? And that he needed to tell me the benefits of losing weight? DON'T YOU THINK I ALREADY KNOW ALL OF THAT YOU DING DONG?
This encounter really got my knickers in a knot because it's the second time in a few weeks that I've met a medical "professional" for the first time and they didn't really address the reason I was there, but felt it necessary to 'scold' me and lecture me about my size. I let the first one go (kinda), but this one has been bugging me for 24 hours now and I feel like I want to go back there and slap the hell out of that guy.
And today, my knee still hurts, but I don't have the courage to find another doctor to see about it. I just can't deal with another round of "you should lose weight because..." from a total stranger.
Yeah, today, it sucks to be me.
Until next time,
Kel
1 comment:
Hey Kelly--I'm so sorry you had such an asshole for PA. Have you thought about seeing your regular family doctor? They can tell you a lot and maybe they can recommend someone you would feel comfortable with.
I know you're not shy wall flower type person. I'm kind of surprised you didn't give him a bunch of crap. You have lost over 20 pounds and haven't had any knee problems before. I think I would have demanded he bring in a "real" doctor since he obviously wasn't skilled enough to help you! How ridiculous!
You need to see another doctor. You can't keep hoping it will go away and excercising seems like it's just going to aggravate it and make it worse.
Your size doesn't matter it terms of a doctor helping you with a problem. And the next time someone treats you that way tell them you're going to report them to AMA for discrimination! People of all sizes are entitled to competent healthcare!
Ok rant over! I'd go with you to the doctor if I was in CA? Can Marie or another friend go with you? Even into the exam room with you to give you some moral support?
Don't give up Woman!
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