Thursday, July 9, 2009

Day 56: Getting to Know Me Better

Wow. I find it hard to believe that it's been 56 days - 8 weeks - since I was laid off. I can still hear the HR manager's words in my head just as clearly as if it happened yesterday. It must be one of those moments in my life that isn't going to be forgotten for a while.

As much as I try to keep busy in the time that I'm not working on my resume or searching for a job that fits my skill set, I still spend a lot of time alone with just Aero to keep me company - and he's not a great conversationalist. It's the quiet times that I dig deep and examine myself and who I am, trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing. Sometimes this self-analyzing leads me to dark places, and other times, to very positive, happy places.

Some of the things I've discovered about myself are:
  • I look really good on paper. As my resume is nearly finalized, I realize that I have many strong, desirable skills that should open a lot of doors.
  • I don't look so good in person. I find that people are generally fat-phobic and that will probably work against me in a face-to-face interview.
  • I need a schedule. I don't get a lot done when I have too much time on my hands.
  • I miss talking to people every day. Like I said, Aero's not much on conversation.
  • Aero still dislikes my being home. I guess I shouldn't find a job that lets me telecommute.
  • I break out in a cold sweat when I think of having to go shopping for an "interview suit." Julie told me I should buy one six weeks ago. I've been shopping once and thought I'd pass out in the store. That was a short trip.
  • I'm still scared shitless about the whole unemployment/trying to find a new job thing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I've got some great friends looking out for me and helping to keep me sane. But they've got their own lives and challenges and I can't keep complaining about the same things over and over to them. I must be driving them nuts by now because I'm driving myself nuts listening to me.

And now I'm rambling. That's another thing I've learned recently: I'm a rambler. Somebody just smack me on the side of the head and tell me to shut up and get a job.

Until Next Time,

Kel


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