As much as I try to keep busy in the time that I'm not working on my resume or searching for a job that fits my skill set, I still spend a lot of time alone with just Aero to keep me company - and he's not a great conversationalist. It's the quiet times that I dig deep and examine myself and who I am, trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing. Sometimes this self-analyzing leads me to dark places, and other times, to very positive, happy places.
Some of the things I've discovered about myself are:
- I look really good on paper. As my resume is nearly finalized, I realize that I have many strong, desirable skills that should open a lot of doors.
- I don't look so good in person. I find that people are generally fat-phobic and that will probably work against me in a face-to-face interview.
- I need a schedule. I don't get a lot done when I have too much time on my hands.
- I miss talking to people every day. Like I said, Aero's not much on conversation.
- Aero still dislikes my being home. I guess I shouldn't find a job that lets me telecommute.
- I break out in a cold sweat when I think of having to go shopping for an "interview suit." Julie told me I should buy one six weeks ago. I've been shopping once and thought I'd pass out in the store. That was a short trip.
- I'm still scared shitless about the whole unemployment/trying to find a new job thing.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I've got some great friends looking out for me and helping to keep me sane. But they've got their own lives and challenges and I can't keep complaining about the same things over and over to them. I must be driving them nuts by now because I'm driving myself nuts listening to me.
And now I'm rambling. That's another thing I've learned recently: I'm a rambler. Somebody just smack me on the side of the head and tell me to shut up and get a job.
Until Next Time,
Kel
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